


We'll face it together

by BoWritesStuff



Series: Oneshots! [7]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 08:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15703314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoWritesStuff/pseuds/BoWritesStuff
Summary: Arin is struggling with his self image and Dan has to help him through it.





	We'll face it together

Arin can hear Dan walking around through the door. The last time he saw Dan, he was getting ready to go to sleep. Dan often stays at his house when Suzy was out, just to keep him company. But today is different. 

He tries to keep his breathing under control. He tries to avoid his reflection shining back in the mirror, he tries to stop thinking, he tries to recreate Suzy’s words. He tries everything he could think of, every positive thought that he has ever had, every kind word ever spoken to him, every single ounce of support. From his fanbase. From his wife. From his friends. From himself. 

Nothing is working. His eyesight is blurry, but through the tears he still manages to see the shaky, pale lines on his skin. He still manages to see the rolls on his stomach. He still manages to see everything wrong with his body. He doesn’t need to see it. He can feel how ugly he is, it’s all over his body and he wants to wash it all off. 

He barely hears the shuffle of Dan’s feet walking towards the door. There’s a gently, hesitant knock. 

“Arin?” Dan whispers, his voice so close and so scared. Arin stifles a sob, trying to keep Dan from knowing what the situation is, but it’s obvious by how worries Dan is that he already knows. “Arin are you alright?” 

Arin breathes through his mouth, trying to keep his chest from heaving. He has to calm down. Dan doesn’t need unnecessary pressure on him. He doesn’t need to know about Arin’s problems. Arin shouldn’t burden anyone else. He shouldn’t weigh Dan down. That’s not fair to him. 

“Yeah,” his voice is unusually high. Dan frowns on the other side of the door. There is something very, very wrong with Arin right now. But he isn’t really sure what the problem exactly is. 

Suzy warned this about him, a long time ago. Arin has a lot of problems that he was still trying to work out. But Suzy isn’t there with them right now. Right now it’s just Dan and Arin. 

“Arin, you’re lying,” he says gently, “I know you’re lying. Please. Let me help you.” Dan doesn’t need to check the handle. He knows it’s locked before he even tries to open the door. 

Arin wipes away tears, and from where he sits on the bathroom floor, he can see how fat his thighs are, and how they don’t just brush together, but they are touching at all times. He can see the pale, ugly stretch marks that wrap around his legs and stomach. The rolls on his stomach. 

“I’m fine.” Arin sobs the last word, and Dan can hear him crying. There is no hiding now. Dan knows. 

“Arin, please, just let me help you. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I… I need to see you.” Dan’s panic is rising. What did Suzy tell him to do? When this happens? He searched his memory, but he can’t think of anything. What do you do? “Arin, I need to know you’re safe.” 

“I am!” Arin shouts, another sob making him shake. He’s an embarrassment, an idiot. Dan doesn’t need to see him crying in his underwear because of the fact that Arin just now realized that he’s ugly and fat. 

“Arin, you’re not-” 

“I’M FINE!” Dan takes a step back, surprised. What’s wrong? He tries the door knob, and as he predicted, it doesn’t budge. Arin doesn’t like that Dan is trying to get in. The room suddenly feels much, much smaller than he originally thought. 

“Arin! Listen to me,” Dan’s voice is angry. Arin’s anxious thoughts rise up again, whispering his worst fears to him. 

He’s angry at you. 

He thinks you’re ugly. 

He hates you. 

He can do your job so much better. 

He deserves so much better. 

“Listen, Arin. I want to know that you’re safe. Just… open the door. Please. I want to help you. You know that.” His thoughts hush for a moment. Dan’s voice is so calm, so familiar, so reassuring. “You know we love you. You know that we want you to be happy. C’mon, big cat. Let me in.” 

You know we love you. 

Dan talks like Suzy’s there with them. Like all their loving fans are right on the other side of the door, with loving and happy looks. 

Arin moves slowly, like someone is judging his every movement. His hand brushes against the cold metal of the door knob. His hands are shaking, just a little bit. Dan waits. 

“Arin?” his voice just barely a whisper. The door knob clicks, and Dan’s heart stops for a moment. Arin moves away, not opening the door. The door creaks open, very slowly. Dan moves in slowly. 

Arin’s sitting on the floor, in his boxers. His hair is messy, and in the way of his face, His arms are wrapped tightly around his torso, almost painfully. He pauses. 

There’s a difference between hearing a person cry, and seeing it. 

It’s so much more painful seeing it happen. Dan moves slowly, like Arin’s a wild animal and he might run away if Dan scares him. He kneels down next to him, trying to catch his eye. Arin looks away, down at his feet, almost burying his face in his chest. 

“Arin, look at me, please. What’s wrong?” Dan gently brushes his hair out of the way. Arin’s grip tightens until his knuckles are white and there are painful red welts starting to form. Dan’s hands move to Arin’s, prying them off. 

“Dan.” his voice is raspy and thin. 

“I’m here. What’s wrong. Talk to me.” Dan’s hand slips into Arin’s. This seems to calm him down, just a little. He isn’t sure how to help. He isn’t sure how Suzy usually helps Arin when he’s like this. 

So Dan just has to help, his own way. 

“I’m.” Arin swallows, holding his breath, “I…” 

Dan’s eyes search Arin’s face. There’s a growing pain in his eyes. There’s something wrong. Something that Arin can’t handle by himself. 

“You know I’m not gonna hurt you, man. Just… If you want to tell me, I’m here. I won’t judge you. But if you don’t tell me… I’m going to tell Suzy. I’m not if I can help, but Suzy can.” Arin’s breathing slows, just a little more. It’s almost normal now.   
“I’m ugly.” he whispers. Dan almost does hear. 

“What?” 

“I’m ugly, and I’m fat and-” another sob cuts him off. Dan squeezes his hand. 

“Dude, what are you talking about?” Dan asks. Arin grits his teeth, and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“I’m… Just look.” Arin pinches his thigh hard enough that Dan winches. He moves to his stomach and jabs at it. 

“Dude, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfectly fine, there’s-” 

“You can’t just pretend that I’m perfect! I’m not! Just look! It’s all fucking over me! There’s fat and people think I’m fat!” Arin stabs a finger at his stomach again, and Dan’s sure that it’ll bruise. 

“You’re not perfect, Arin. None of us are. We’re just… we’re just people. Like, look at me.” Dan gestures to his body. Arin glances over. There’s nothing wrong. He isn’t sure what Dan’s pointing at. “Sometimes I feel… the way you do. The way my ribs stick out, and how I’m thin and-” Dan swallows, “And yeah, it does feel shitty sometimes. But… you’re not fat. And we don’t think you’re fat.” 

“But you aren’t ugly.” Arin points out weakly. Dan’s face brightens up, to his surprise. 

“Exactly! I think I’m ugly! And you don’t! So what do you think? If you think you’re ugly, we certainly don’t.” Arin still doesn’t look entirely convinced. Dan chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment, “We are the people who know our bodies best. We obsess and study every flaw. Other people look past it. It doesn’t mean we’re ugly.” 

Arin holds his breath, and lets out a long, shuddering sigh. Dan nuzzles Arin’s shoulder. 

“We don’t think you’re ugly. Or fat. We just think you’re Arin. And that’s the best thing we could ever ask for.” he whispers. Arin nods. “You okay?” 

“Better.” 

“That’s good. That’s a good start.” Dan says. He’s not an expert with helping people, so better is the best he could hope for. He stands up, and offers Arin a hand.   
They both leave the bathroom. 

Both of them aren’t convinced. 

Arin still doesn’t think that Dan is telling the full truth. But he isn’t lying. The doubts in his mind still linger. But he does take comfort in the fact that Dan is trying to help him. 

Dan isn’t sure if he did the right thing. He isn’t sure that Arin is safe, but he’ll contact Suzy the moment he can. He’ll do anything to make Arin feel better, but he knows there isn’t a magic cure. It takes years of love and support. There will be bad days and good days. 

But they’ll face it together.


End file.
